If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
