hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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