Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
