Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
