soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
