I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
