it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
