True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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