is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
