You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your penis caused this!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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