Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's shark week go big or go home
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
