I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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