I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
