There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
