We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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