doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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