at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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