there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
