I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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