is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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