He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
