i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Randomize
