I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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