It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
