I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
