that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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