If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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