I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
