I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
