i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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