we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
