you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
