smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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