I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
