I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
