Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
