I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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