im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
