Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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