Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
