Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
