i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
