Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
