Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
