Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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