Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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