reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
