At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
