New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
