U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
