But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
